poem 12

I look in the mirror and all I can see

Ain’t the image staring back at me

I got a lot of regrets that I just can’t escape

Like a load of my own wretched mistakes

Written ‘cross the brow of my own soul

Making me look deathly like Hell and Sheol

Day after day, I’m making my way

But it be more like I’m just losing my way

Cause the decisions I make don’t make my way

But they only mark me day after day.

Got sins of the flesh all up in my past

And though the past be gone it still always do last

And though the past be gone it still got a grasp

That it do hang on and it do certainly last

I got the dust of my body all up in my flesh

And cain’t seem to take an adequate breath

All up on my flesh and my soul deep within

Calling me to evil and to play light with sin

I look in the mirror and what do I see

It ain’t the image staring back at me

It’s a myriad of choices decisions and deeds

Thoughts and memories of so many things

Done and undone by the heart of my flesh

Lusting after the day of my last breath

It’s a man I don’t desire or want to be

Having had done so many wicked things

Both in the body and up in the mind

Walking through life like he was just blind

Can’t seem to stop him from doing the deeds

That undo so many valuable things

I’m floundering in my error and deep in my sin

Falling flat on my face again and again

I’m needing true life to come lift me up

Father please come help me bear up this cup

Bear with me this barren cross of myself 

And teach me the ways of your glorious self

I look in the mirror and all I can see

Ain’t the image staring back at me

But a memory of pains sorrow and deceit

Marking my mind with lasting defeat

And no matter how hard that I should try

To lay down my false self to finally die

The image in the mirror it still always belies 

The man who truly is on the inside

I’m supposed to be a whole lot better than this

I’m not supposed to be so twisted like this

I got the spirit of God coursing my veins

Supposed to be teaching me how to deal with life’s pains

Still I be living like I was a dead man

My flesh is a corpse that I be carrying

Dragging along with concerted effort

As if I must live my life with this dead weight

I gotta lift myself up with the power of the spirit

By doing what I learn not just hearing it

I look in the mirror and all I can do

Is remake the image into a man that is true

Make him a man full of faithful deeds

With a heart full of prayers down on his knees

Gotta fight off the flesh with daily toil

Until it fall down dead in the soil

And I stand up in the power of Almighty God

The only real strength that I have got 

To battle the flesh and bear up the spirit

What be the power over sin to cure it

I can’t do this alone without the power of his strength 

Cause all that he is is all that I ain’t

Can’t seem to get it into my thick ol’ head

The spirit’s alive and the flesh it is dead

It be more than just a statement of what be the fact

It be describing a state of affairs that

Tell what it means to live in the flesh

And to live in the spirit is to finally get a full breath

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